Braille Monitor April 2008
From the Editor: From time to time Miss Whozit answers reader questions
about etiquette and good manners, particularly as they involve blindness. If
you would like to pose a question to Miss Whozit, you can send it to the attention
of Barbara Pierce, 1800 Johnson Street, Baltimore, Maryland 21230, or email
me at <bpierce@nfb.org>. I will pass the questions along. Letters may
be edited for space and clarity. Here are the most recent letters Miss Whozit
has received:
Dear Miss Whozit,
I have had a problem lately handling sighted people who make clearly mean comments
about my blindness. Such a thing happened to me in a book store recently. I
asked a clerk to find a book title for me in the computer. He found it and told
me the location, but I was rather unsure of the directions, and I guess it showed
on my face. (I have a little sight for reading print.)
I answered, "I didn't see it there."
The clerk then asked in an unsure and annoyed tone: "Do you want help finding the title, sir?"
I replied, "Yes, that would be helpful."
As we began walking to the location, he turned and asked: "Are you partly blind or blind, sir? When you said you `didn't see the title' were you trying to be funny?"
I replied, "Partly blind, and, no, it would annoy me and my fellow blind people to make funny comments about blindness."
So I repeat: How should one handle a clearly mean comment about one's blindness
like this one?
Confused about Comments
Dear Confused,
It’s clear from your description of this exchange that you were not the only
one who was confused. You did not mention whether or not you were using a white
cane or a guide dog, but I infer that you were. Without some such signal your
clerk’s perplexity and tactlessness would quite likely have been far more overt
and annoying. Such a reaction is obviously nothing new to you. People with little
or no experience dealing with blind people are nonplussed to find blindness
and competence and normality coexisting in the same person.
The clerk’s half-formed logic probably went something like this: Blind people
need help finding their way anywhere, but then what is a blind man doing looking
for a print book, which he can’t read. Moreover, a blind man wouldn’t talk about
“seeing things.” On the other hand, sighted customers need help locating individual
books, but they can follow my gesture-filled instructions. So which is this
guy, blind or sighted?
Whether the tactless people you come across intend to be rude or manage to
do it unconsciously, your question is the same: how should you deal with their
resulting comments? In the spirit of civility and etiquette, Miss Whozit urges
everyone to take the high road. The more considerate you are, the more likely
it is that the other person will actually hear and understand your explanation
about seeing a bit but not enough to follow mostly visual instructions. This
advice should not be understood as advocating that blind people meekly allow
ourselves to be dragged around or consigned to waiting areas or wheelchairs
where the sighted can take care of the inconvenience of our appearance in their
world. One can simultaneously be both civil and calmly insistent on our right
to useful information or appropriate assistance. Getting the mix right is a
matter of personal taste and wide experience. Keep working on your responses
and concentrate on aiming to be clear but courteous.
Dear Miss Whozit,
I recently returned home from the Washington Seminar. I love this event, and
I get a real charge out of being with a large group of blind people from across
the country. But, Miss Whozit, please join me in pleading with our members to
move to the side of the hallways to conduct conversations. I don’t know why
people can’t pay attention to where they are standing and whether or not they
are preventing people from getting through their group or around them. I get
frustrated at convention when people don’t seem to care whether or not they
are causing a bottleneck or being disruptive. Surely we have as much responsibility
as other people to be considerate of others, no matter how many times others
have failed to treat us with consideration.
The Young Curmudgeon
Gentle Reader,
Miss Whozit rejects the notion that wishing to inhabit a world in which everyone
is considerate of others makes one a curmudgeon at any age. Miss Whozit emphatically
agrees that all blind people would do well to consider where they are and whether
their behavior is likely to inconvenience others. And while we are at it, sighted
people who give directions or carry on conversations with blind people in a
normal voice while a room full of people are trying to listen to a speaker or
conduct a meeting are themselves rude and encourage the unobservant blind people
they are helping to make themselves conspicuous.
Once and for all let us agree that the tops and bottoms of escalators, the area outside exit doors, the space immediately in front of elevators, and the center of busy hallways are not appropriate places to chat with friends. Stopping to visit or check for missing belongings or answer a cell phone in any of these locations is likely to earn the annoyance of those being blocked. In the case of escalators, stopping as soon as one steps off the moving stairs is just plain dangerous and tends to create panic in the people piling up behind.
Let’s all pledge to be more considerate of others when we get together. We
can all move to the side to chat, and we can also be courteous when we are reminding
others to step out of the way or speak more quietly. Civility makes life more
pleasant for everyone.