by Nancy Coffman
Nancy Coffman is an active member of the National Federation of the Blind. In her amusing account of a simple incident at a rest stop along a Nebraska highway, she reminds us that the conclusions we sometimes draw from what we see and which would seem to be obvious, are not always correct. Here is what she has to say:
I have been blind since birth, and many things have been said to me over the years which bring the fact that people have stereotyped expectations of blind people into my consciousness. My parents both worked hard to see that I grew up expecting myself to achieve and excel.
My mother’s frustration with me as a child often led her to proclaim, "you think just because you are blind it’s O.K. to. . . !" In my adult life, I came to realize that she and Dad, in their wisdom, wanted me to be aware of the stereotypes I would embrace and the self-fulfilling prophesies I would live out in my lifetime if I was not careful. She wanted me to be a competent adult rather than what the rest of the world would have molded me into.
As a blind person, I have sometimes found myself in situations where I honestly wondered if other people thought I had made a blunder because I am blind when in actuality, I had deliberately done what I did for a perfectly legitimate reason.
I often think of these situations and find humor in them knowing that if a sighted person had done what I did, no questions would have come to anyone’s mind. One day, as my husband and I drove from our home in Lincoln, Nebraska, to Wyoming where both his family and mine lived, I had just such an occasion.
We had stopped at a rest stop about an hour from Lincoln to stretch and use the rest room facilities. We often use rest stops when our schedule doesn’t permit lengthy stops. One of us usually goes in at a time so as not to leave the car unattended. Taking turns also provides an extra minute to stretch, look at the map, or do other things that might need to be done.
On this occasion, my husband had come back to the car, and I headed in to use the rest room. Upon finding the women’s rest room locked, I realized I had a decision to make. I could wait but that might mean making an extra stop, thus making our schedule even tighter, or, I could use the facility that remained open. I tugged at the other door and went into the men’s rest room after announcing myself with "hello, anybody home."
All was well and the house was empty. I thought I had it made, so I proceeded. Before I could get myself prepared to leave, I heard the door open and close. Heavy footsteps echoed throughout the room. No stall doors closed, and nobody spoke. I hurried out behind the man who had come in behind me to use the urinal.
As I left quietly and quickly, I wondered what he thought. He had probably not checked the door to the women’s rest room. He probably thought that my blindness caused me to enter the men’s room in error. I smiled as I walked back to the car to find a giggling husband wondering the same thing.
We both knew that anyone who didn’t know me would be persuaded by the age-old belief that sees blind people as incompetent. Surely that would be the only reason a blind person would show up in the wrong rest room. It made for great humor knowing that if he thought that, he was wrong. Blind people must do what they have to do just like everyone else.